Get Stronger After 40

The People Around You May Be Aging You

We like to think we make our choices entirely on our own—that what we eat, if we exercise, what we tolerate, and how we age comes down to personal discipline and individual decisions. But the fact is we’re social creatures—even if we’re introverts who prefer our time alone.

Research has shown that we absorb far more from the people around us than we realize—and this also refers to the people we see on our screens, Zoom, and social media. Their habits, standards, and limitations might seem unusual at first, but over time, they become familiar and normal.

If the people around you constantly joke about getting old, normalize exhaustion, dismiss strength training, overdrink, under-move, complain about their bodies while doing nothing to help them, or treat decline as inevitable—it affects you. The odd thing is this happens even if you know better.

It’s especially the case when we’re tired or overwhelmed, because pushing against the “normal” messaging takes energy. And most women I talk to already feel short on that.

So instead of asking, “Why can’t I stay motivated?” a better question might be: “What environment am I trying to succeed inside of?”

This is not about blaming your friends, partner, family, coworkers, or the people you follow on Instagram that are always showing easy ways to make scrumptious-looking desserts. It’s about recognizing that your surroundings do shape your expectations. If no one around you values strength, it can feel like maybe it’s an unimportant goal. If you regularly hear that aches, fatigue, and physical decline are just part of midlife, it becomes harder to imagine another way to age.

But there is another way.

Spend time around women who move, challenge themselves, talk about what they’re building instead of what they’re losing, and expect more from the second half of life. Spend enough time in that environment and getting stronger with age feels normal—as does getting more out of your health and life.

That’s the power of environment. It lowers the friction of good choices and raises the friction of destructive ones.

You don’t need every person in your life to change. You don’t need to dramatically dump your boozy book club or ghost the friend that treats exercise like something reserved for bodybuilders. But you do need stronger examples of what’s possible, better conversations about growth, and more people who remind you that capability can increase with age.

If you’re a woman over 40 looking for this, The Wonderfulness Community is for you.

For some people, joining an online community devoted to getting stronger simply sounds too aspirational. Or you might be unsure if you’d find benefit in what we offer—or even worry that you couldn’t keep up with the exercises.

Then start here: I made a free 8-minute workout video for women who want to rebuild strength in real life. Try it at home, with no one watching. Just eight minutes of choosing a different message. I suggest you do it daily for one week.

Sometimes the first person who changes your environment… is you.

Start getting stronger HERE